Reddit reply in r/AskAnthropology: why is open polygamy rare in modern western — October 27, 2024 | Ali Shukri Amin

My thesis is very simple. There are innate biological drivers towards polygyny in many animals, humans included. If we define polygyny as "A pattern of mating in which a male animal has more than one female mate." Then it's as common in 17th century Ottoman Turkey as it is in New York City 2024. There are different levels of social acceptability and responsibilities put on the partners in those very different millieus.

However, the romantic structure wherein a certain percentage of male specific men attract and keep multiple females for their own exclusive reproductive purpose is the same. The difference is that it was accepted and openly regulated in Ottoman Turkey whereas in NY today, the girls tend not to know about each other and the guy doesn't consider them serious relationships.

The very famous study indicated that female Tinder users swiped left 95% of the time while men swiped left 47%. A small percentage of men received the vast majority of swipes and dates from the app.

In the past, that man would be limited as to how many women he could be seen with in public and would be penalized if caught in an extramarital affair. Polygamous societies limit how many partners he could have and he'd be required by the state to provide for them. In modern society he can date 2, 3, 4, 5+ women long term without providing for them without consequences.

There's no indication that human mating patterns or preferences have changed. Women broadly prefer monogamy. Men broadly do not. However a small percentage of men have enough leverage to realistically engage in polygyny. The difference is social acceptability and regulation, not some fundamental change in mating patterns.