Reddit reply in r/TraditionalMuslims: deleted by user — February 3, 2025 | Ali Shukri Amin

This has been my experience in my personal interactions and the personal interactions of brothers I've known. It is also a big problem in many masajid. There are enough Muslim men experiencing and speaking about this publicly that we know it's an issue, and there is even an organization now to address it.

Yes many people are emotionally unintelligent and modern technology is a big contributer to that.

I definitely agree self disclosure and opening up makes for better relationships. That being said, if one partner feels unsafe or feels likely to be betrayed, it is unlikely to happen.

I'm sure there are good women who care. It's just considerably less than it was a few generations ago. In fact in most countries across the globe there probably hasn't been a big shift. In our particular circumstances there is definitely a noticable shift. Even so, good Muslim women get married every day.

The danger is having a 10% or 30% or 50% chance of being married to someone that will destroy your inner peace or demolish your self esteem over petty dunya things. Most men can easily survive losing a job or going bankrupt or their business failing or an illness or a car crash etc. But when you're at that low point and the person you've invested everything in abandons you - that can permanently damage someone.

On the flip side if you are young and overcome all your challenges alone, you don't have any emotional investment to give someone who joins you at the finish line.

So the paradox is that many sisters want someone who is established but also emotionally intimate/dependent with them. It's just not realistic.