Reddit reply in r/PurplePillDebate: its very rare for a man to find a woman who — February 16, 2025 | Ali Shukri Amin

True love is choosing someone when the transaction within the relationship isn't beneficial for you. That's true for men and women. If the transaction makes sense and you're getting a fair exchange of value or better, you can't be sure it's love. This is where spirituality comes in. Do you have faith in the other person despite the current circumstances?

The greatest opportunity for a man to feel a woman's love is when he is young and unproven. In that scenario, it makes more sense for her to find someone who is more established. Her choice of him isn't optimal, there's an irrational faith in that particular man.

The greatesy opportunity for a woman to feel a man's love is when they've grown older together and he can easily abandon her for a younger woman.

Most relationships are transactional. Women are more transactional about it than men typically. Society definitely conditions us to be on the lookout for the best deal. It's possible to find true love but it may be inversely correlated with dating success.

The more attractive your external characteristics are, like your wealth for men or your beauty for women, the less sure you are they would choose you outside of that transaction. So when a man is in his mid-30s and finally has great career success, he should be most skeptical of the sudden influx in female attention. When a woman is in her early 20s and has massive male attention, she should be most skeptical.

The issue is that dating success, ease of parsing the transaction, and true love are all at odds with each other. This makes it incredibly complicated. Your best shot at true love may be when it's extremely hard to get any relationship at all paradoxically, whereas you may be least likely to find it when you are most popular.