Reddit reply in r/MuslimMarriage: update feeling really bad after rejecting a — October 10, 2021 | Ali Shukri Amin

I'm not sure I am communicating clearly enough. You are not going to find a Muslim man in that age group who is: previously unmarried, did not do zinaa, and not seriously mentally bothered by it. Either you will: find a divorcee who is well adjusted, find a brother who is a zaani (who should only marry another zaani), or a brother who struggled a lot to the point of being affected by it.

You cannot expect more from brothers in that age group because sisters won't marry them when they are at a critical developmental stage and need a romantic relationship. It's just illogical and does not speak to the reality of human nature. Kaffir men are more well-adjusted in that age group because they have had healthy romantic relationships for 10 to 15 or even 20 years. You cannot just starve the Muslims in an incredibly hypersexualized environment and then expect the emotional maturity of their non-Muslim peers.

Either: sisters decide they want to invest in younger brothers so that when they get older they are well-adjusted or sisters decide they want to marry older brothers who are not well-adjusted and developmentally stunted. Or: sisters wait forever to find such a brother, he doesn't exist, and then just end up getting with a kaffir.

This kind of callousness is not Islam by the way:

Al-Nu’man ibn Bashir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The parable of the believers in their affection, mercy, and compassion for each other is that of a body. When any limb aches, the whole body reacts with sleeplessness and fever.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6011, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2586

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

عَنْ النُّعْمَانِ بْنِ بَشِيرٍ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ مَثَلُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ فِي تَوَادِّهِمْ وَتَرَاحُمِهِمْ وَتَعَاطُفِهِمْ مَثَلُ الْجَسَدِ إِذَا اشْتَكَى مِنْهُ عُضْوٌ تَدَاعَى لَهُ سَائِرُ الْجَسَدِ بِالسَّهَرِ وَالْحُمَّى6011 صحيح البخاري كتاب الأدب باب رحمة الناس والبهائم2586 صحيح مسلم كتاب البر والصلة والآداب باب تراحم المؤمنين وتعاطفهم وتعاضدهم

You seem to genuinely not care about the brothers in the pool that you want to marry and also seem to be in denial in the likelihood of your finding what you are looking for, despite the many horror stories of sisters choosing wrong after waiting many years to get married (because the brothers that seem well-adjusted while also being unmarried tend to have skeletons in the closet).