Reddit reply in r/MuslimLounge: is a nonvirgin man a turn off when seeking a — October 19, 2022 · isz1jhe | Ali Shukri Amin

No matter what I said it doesn't justify that and you will be held accountable in the Akhirah for your accusations.

Men who have slept around are not automatically disgusting when you see them and there are people who were kuffar that accepted Islam or who made tawba. The reality is exposure to women makes a man more confident and better at interacting with women. Women gravitate towards a man who has these qualities and are not attracted to men who do not. Men who do not tend to appear feeble, weaker, less confident, and most women describe this as being "creepy" or "weird."

If the average sister is presented with one potential that has done a lot of zina and then made tawba, and another that does not, and she does not know their past - she will choose the one that did zina if all else is equal. If they are equally physically attractive, make the same amount of money, etc. the one that has more exposure to women has more experienced and will have a "better personality."

If the sister is very religious and she knows about both of their sexual history, yes, it can help the brother that remained pure. However usually sisters are willing to overlook such a past if the brother repented or is a revert.

Therefore, the reality is that celibacy makes men more unattractive to women. Period. The harm it does to a man can be seen and felt by potentials and it affects their decision making. If a person does zina, that will not be there. Yes zina is haram and wrong.

I would prefer if sisters would discriminate and go after brothers that are virgins. It would actually be in my favor. However this is just not how human nature works. It's not how women are made. The female psyche is geared towards pre-selection, choosing a man that other women were attracted to. This manifests subconsciously in male behavior, as men that have had romantic relationships are different than men who have not.

We can deny all the science and research that we want, but facts are facts. In an ideal world sisters would prefer brothers that kept themselves pure for Allah's sake, but that's not what's happening on the ground. We have to stop pushing celibacy on our young men and teach our sisters to marry at a young age to avoid this problem altogether.